Gryphon Update

"The Christian Life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes..." -Billy Graham While I have never been one to put the Graham family on a pedestal, this quote so well expresses my heart in this moment. Service dog training is not going well. It's actually not going at all. We are searching and praying and searching and crying and praying and searching for the right help. We have not given up, but we are certainly fighting discouragement. Let me back this thing up and explain the happenings. When we signed up with the new organization, we were told her weekly class was going to be on Wednesdays. PERFECT! Zack works four - ten hour shifts most weeks, and Wednesday is his normal day off. As the fall semester drew closer, I hadn't heard any updates from the trainer, so I called. She told me that they had changed the class to Mondays and the time happens to be right in the middle of Sam's therapy sessions with his speech and occupational therapists. This time is not something we can change. This was the beginning of stress trying to figure out how to be at therapy and at the dog trainer at the same time especially since there is an hour drive between the two. As we were scrambling to work our schedule around this HUGE change, we had scheduled a puppy class with the trainer. We set a date, and she told me she would let me know the time and place closer to the date. As the week approached, I still had not heard from the trainer. So on Wednesday before the Saturday of the class, I sent a text to see it the class was still happening and to find out details. Finally on Friday, I got a text from the trainer stating that she had us on her schedule but that she wanted to meet at 7:30am in Hot Springs. This was less than 24 hours notice that she wanted us to drive an hour and a half, search for parking in a highly difficult, touristy area and meet at 7:30am for a training class. During this time, both boys were having some sleeping difficulties. (Just to give you an idea, Sam finally went to sleep around 11pm. He woke up at 2am and didn't go back to sleep until 5am and slept until around 7:30am.) This was not uncommon during this time frame. We knew that we wouldn't be able to get anything out of a class at 7:30am if we had to get the kids out of bed at 5am after a night like this, so we cancelled the class soon after she texted with the time details. With the complete lack of communication and huge time changes, we have not been able to get any training done with this particular trainer. Let me take a moment to say, I think her problem is simply that she has over-booked herself. We have no ill feelings toward her, we just have not been able to get our schedule to match hers. I also know (because I have been told) that some of you will not understand why any of this is a big deal. I am not sure how to answer that except to say that our life is wonderful and beautiful, but it is also hard. Both of our boys are delights, but they are also high needs children. Curve balls can throw HUGE wrenches into our life and make it difficult to catch up, and I guess it isn't easy to understand unless you live it. But please hear me when I say, all of this was a BIG deal. So we have been waiting and praying and searching...I emailed Arkansas Service Dogs (after a Google search.) They never responded to either of my emails. I talked to a YouTube famous dog trainer just to try to get Gryphon's basic obedience training done. He basically told me that he doesn't believe in service dogs and wouldn't really talk about basic training. I think he is a good guy and a good trainer, but the interaction was extremely negative and discouraging. Even though all we wanted from him was basic dog training, he couldn't get past the words autism and future service dog. So here we are, without a concrete plan. BUT God is good and we haven't given up. Don't get me wrong, I have some overwhelming moments of doubt. Did I "mishear" God? It's possible; I'm not infallible. Why didn't we just stay on the easy path with Retrieving Freedom? Some days I certainly wish we had, but I still cannot deny the "still small voice." Why does this have to be a battle just like almost every other aspect of our lives? I don't have an answer for that. I am weary in the moment. I want this particular battle to be over, but we still have a ways to go. And we will continue to put our trust in God. We are looking through all the possible trainers in the Little Rock area...and beyond if need be. Gryphon is way behind in his training, but adult dogs can still be trained. And ultimately our goal is to make a way for Sam to have his best life. So we press on... I just want all of you who have given money to know that your gifts will not be wasted. We will find a way to get Gryphon trained, or we will return all of your money to you. But beyond that, your money has made a huge impact beyond the financial. When Sam regressed, we were involved in a church that despite their good qualities were unwilling to make room for the new us. It was a lonely time for us with few friends sticking by us. Most of that was because people didn't know what to do, but that doesn't take away the realities of isolation special needs families face. We moved for Zack's job and found a great church with a special needs ministry. It still isn't quite the same. Community is so difficult to find in normal circumstances. Community as a special needs family is even more difficult. We are in a good place, but if I am honest I have not loved "the Church" (speaking as a whole of the body of Christ) like I should. I have been asking God to help me with this. That's when He and you showed up in a big way!!! A large portion of the money we have been given came from the last two churches my dad pastored while I was still in Mississippi (in fact all donations have come from Mississippi except from one sweet friend from Arkansas.) We have heard you that we are not forgotten. When all of life feels like a fight for services, for understanding, for people to just care, you have have spoken your message loud and clear! And we love you even more for your rememberence of us and your care for our precious Sam. Thank you for the healing balm your poured upon my bruised and battered heart. No matter what happens, it is all worth it to be reminded that we are not alone.